Great question and I will bet all have a different way?..Im close to 13 years, lost job, family, my sanity first 3 to 4 years.
I always say its the acceptance is the goal…Much therapy, yoga, meditation, being able to tell people or strangers what happened, or the odd side effects of accident…( and not be upset, cry,ect)
My latest acceptance is I will be alone the rest of my life…I tried hard, no woman wants a disabled guy…A guy with a service dog, now I have many friends many drop dead gorges women friends, but everyone keeps you at a distance…Thats ok, I have my peace and focus day to day to accomplish the little things…
When we accept ourselves, the other things are easier to deal and coup with.
I agree DavOD, acceptance is the goal. We may have very little issue accepting some things, but other aspects can be a MASSIVE struggle and the judgement of others can be one of those MASSIVES.
HeeeeY Merl, yup it’s me again, checking in, and you are still here. Hope you are getting along ok. How have things been going? Maybe someday things will work well again, or perhaps they already are and I don’t know how to do it. Let me know, take care, drop me a line
Hey Johnbarry,
Yea, I’m still here. It’s good to hear from you. I’m a bit like that bad smell you just can’t get rid of
“…perhaps they already are and I don’t know how to do it.” Ohh, I can assure you, you are not the only one who doesn’t “know how to do it”, me too. I have followed every direction, suggestion or clue given and I’m still in the same place I was 5-7yrs ago. For me, if I had a set starting point I might be able to progress. Today might be a good day at the start but 1/2 way through the day I become symptomatic, but then tomorrow I can wake up symptomatic and that just screws up my whole day. I quite simply can never tell. I believe it was you who wrote ‘Brain injury - You don’t know it until you have to live it’. I formerly used to work in the disability sector and, to be honest, thought I knew all about it. Ohh boy did I get an education. What I knew was all of the theory, all of the A+B=C stuff. The reality is far more complex more like A+B-CxD/E√Fx100… then subtract the number you started with??? What a mess.
If you ever find out how to do it, please tell me how.
I used to fight the change for a long time. I have limited memory of who I was before I obtained my TBI but, I have decided on attempting to help people. I volunteer once a week at a local library and I attempt but never finish crocheting scarves for the homeless. I have started many scarves but have never finished one ( I don’t think. )
Hi @CrystalStar, it’s wonderful to see you post on here! Crocheting scarves is no easy task, so don’t be discouraged. It warms my heart to hear your story, what you are doing is tremendous. We would love to hear more about any goals you may have set for yourself Crystal!
I also see that you are undergoing cognitive therapies along with mental and physical therapies. How have they been for you Crystal?
Thank you for your immediate response, I do not go to the therapies any more, I am in and out of psychiatric therapy often. My cognitive and physical therapies are up to me to maintain the progress I achieved in the past, I obtained my TBI in January of 2008, about 12 years ago. I have tried to keep fish as pets but, that did not work for me. I am going to get a snail tomorrow, and I hope I can keep it alive.
It seems to me that you are constantly focused finding different avenues to keep yourself busy @CrystalStar, which is awesome. It’s sweet you are going for a pet snail, that should help keep you occupied! How do you find having to maintain the benchmarks with those cognitive and physical therapies? Keep us posted Crystal
Hello again, been hearing about Some wildfire in Australia and wondered if you knew anything about that.
Hope you and the important ones are safe
Take care
letting go is not really an accurate way of looking at it.
I myself simply took it as ‘a new situation’ to cope with and adapt to. Each day is a new situation and life goes on
TBI … you only know it if you live it
Hey Johnbarry,
Yes thanks John, we’re OK (this year, a few years ago it was us under evacuation order, scary stuff I tell you). Those fires you are seeing are primarily on the eastern seaboard (Sydney side) of Australia. Although, there is now reports of fires on the western seaboard (Perth side) too. But the whole country is tinder dry, we haven’t had the usual winter/spring rains this year. Our country fire service has a website and from the moment my computer system is booted up, the CFS site is open, checking for local fires. We’ve had 3wks of 35C+ with 7 days in that time over 45C. It’s been NASTY hot. Those temps have removed any and all moisture. That heat hits me REAL hard so I’ve been hibernating under the air conditioning.
I remember one of my therapists telling me I will never be able to move forward until I accept this is the new me, oh boy, did I fight myself I’ve that!
I just wanted me back again, I still do sometimes and break down sobbing. It’s so hard.
I feel stupid, can’t remember hardly anything like there’s a block of wood in my brain, my decision and learning skills are terrible so I feel dumb in front of others when they look at me like “What!!??”
I’m so scared to try a job as when I have before, I come across very stupid, I think though (after the fact) that if I just stop thinking about being dumb I’ll cope better.
I know it’s the best thing to move forward and stop wishing I was the old me, my accident was in 2013 and my whole thinking has stopped me.
I am terrified of life and hibernate with my dog, the only thing I do is hike with him everyday.
I have racing thoughts due to my brain injuries-it is hard to let go-my brain injuries all happen around 6 yrs old age-I laid in a coma for 3 months it was touch and go-50 years later I still don’t remember things from my childhood years-it only frustrated when I am gather around family members-they ask me Do you know her or him-do you remember this or that event-I reply back No I don’t remember-I never feel fit in since my brain injuries
Im so sorry. I remember in therapy asking the difference from having long term memory loss or short.
I have short term. I think its likda like the grass is always greener thinking for me. The holidays come by and I remember so much, and I have nothing now. My wife and son could never except me. I have my daughter who is grown, but she is thousands of miles away.
So for each type of loss there are pros and cons I guess? I do know it took well over ten years to learn acceptance the best I could.
My children don’t accept me as well-lot of people that passed through my life as soon as I explain to them and share with them, I have TBI long term-they shy away from me.-so I more isolate myself away from people-Just me-myself and I and my puppy dog she isa support dog b/c due to my brain injuries I am deaf impaired and wear hearing aid in both ears and my husband of 49 years-even he gets frustrated with me at time
