Getting worse

Hi everyone it’s been a while since I’ve been on here . I seem to really be going down hill with my short term memory and didn’t really gain much of my past . I can remember some things and others not so much . I don’t understand why at almost 3 1/2 post accident why it’s getting worse is this normal ? . Brain scans next month then maybe I can find out . Still have explosive anger to idk . I don’t want to sound like whiner but it is so hard just to navagate my days . Is this normal ??? Thanks for listing to me .

Hey Brent,
Is that normal? Well, it is for some of us. And I know, for me, the real frustrating bit is that I don’t no why I can remember some of the most mundane of things and yet the things I need seem to have vanished. My anger is not so much with others but with self, but to others it can seem that I’m annoyed with them. I’m forever apologising.

My scans don’t seem to show much. The physical aspects of the brain ‘seem’ ok, but from my view the circuitry is a mess. The daily headaches are extreme and all the medicos can tell me is ‘That’s normal’, even years later. So they have no answers. I try to work around it all as much as possible. I use a diary to assist me to remember. A ‘To Do list’ for tasks and the diary for appointments etc. I ‘try’ to pace my activity as much as possible to keep myself within my limits but this is not always possible as those limits vary massively. What can be OK today can be too much tomorrow, I can simply never tell. Trying to manage all of this is not easy.

So, is this normal? With the variability of it all nobody seems to be able to give me a yes/no answer, but please know you are not the only one trying to manage all of this, that I can guarantee you of.



Thanks Merel , it’s just crazy trying to make sense of all this it’s like a bad dream that you can’t wake up from . Thanks for the feed back I appreciate it

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No problem Brent, we know 'cos we live it too
“… it’s like a bad dream…” Even bad dreams ain’t this bad.
This is nasty bad 'cos we’re still awake.



GOOD GRIEF You guys have it so damned easy. I have to deal with this by myself. The rehab clinic I was going to the doctor retired two years ago and no one was fpound to fill her shoes so it closed. My peer groups closed because the clinic closed and no facilitator which I could damned well do if I did not have so many other things on my plate. I have only had one MRI and it was done wrong no spect scan and my primary car doctor is such a lazy bastard he will not look at my file whic is a couple feet thick and he has no clue as to how my TBIs effect all the other now old age problems since I am approaching 60 that are coming up. Hell it took me four hours two weeks ago to replace the distributor and spark plugs in my car and it used to take under an hour and now I have carpal tunnel in both hands so my hands lock up. I aint quitting. Go back to things that you wer taught as coping stratigies and start using them. Take notes and post them where ypou will see them and get back to getting your own shit done. Life is a shit sandwich every day take another bite.

I may have figured it out, Merl. Missed you. How r u and the wife? :heart::purple_heart::revolving_hearts::musical_note::crazy_face::stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye::thinking::nerd_face::kissing_heart:

My initial msg was withdrawn??? I’m still not techo savvy, like you…xoxo

Hi @hartcreek! You’ve got some great advice here. Using coping strategies is an important part of dealing with any disability, and a tbi is challenging because it obviously impacts your ability to think. Technology can also be super helpful in remembering things, keeping notes, etc. My sister had a traumatic brain injury about 10 years ago, and I can see how badly her ability to process and remember is. Coping strategies are useful, as is seeking out support. It’s a shame that you don’t have a local support group any longer, but at least you have this.


Hey Kat,
Long time no hear, good to see you back. Yea, the wife’s good. Me? ohh the dramas continue. As I’m often saying ‘…it’s all S$%T, it’s just the depth that varies…’ :smile: But I can’t do much about it all, just manage as best I can.


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Great to hear from you, Merl! So, things for you are somewhat ok? Or :toilet::roll_of_toilet_paper::poop:? I’m glad to hear the wife is doing well. R u really ok? Nothing major, eh? Hopefully not cause it’s all bull or cow manure. Doesn’t have the same emphasis as s##t!!! Does it?! Thank you for replying. To reiterate, I have missed you and our talks. Lotsa luck to you and yours. Long story but Chill and I are no longer friends. Sad. I became her surrogate mother. Such is life, correctamundo?
Hows your weather? Here in the states, heat wave, big time. I’m down to 3 layers of skin. Love putting on my glasses and having them seer to my face! Love walking to the store and while walking with the sun behind me and my glasses, I’m burning every insect on the sidewalk. Insect control population? Yes? No? I have a TBI so what do :eye: know?! Be healthy…:crazy_face: P.S. Regarding the 3 H’s, imnot a BAKED :potato: POTATO!,! Stay warm or :sunglasses: cool! :heart::thinking::poop:

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Ohhhhh, I’m so sorry BUT things will improve. You have us here! I’m a baby boomer, like you, but I don’t think, I’m having it as rough as you are. No two TBIs are alike, unfortunately. Like fingerprints and snowflakes. Lol, I have too much time on my hands, ya think? Well, I’m here, if need be, ok? Ok. Hang inthere and by your comment, I see you have. Congrats!:tada::champagne::balloon::confetti_ball::heart::crazy_face:

Ohh a little bit major, they, the medicos want to go chop, chop again. But it’s not urgent, jus painful, so I’ve been placed on a waiting list. I’ve been told ‘probably’ within 12 months at this point. I’m expecting that when it gets closer to the 12mth mark they’ll tell me it’ll be another waiting period as the system’s fairly overwhelmed. But we’ll see.
The weather down here has been damn cold but we haven’t had much rain, which will make the fire season next year chronic.
I sent Chill a B’day card but didn’t hear anything back but as things do change I wasn’t expecting a response. We all move on as time goes by, so all good.


Thanks for ya all’s input there adjusting meds and I’ve thinking about some therapy and try and make senses of some of this . Every day is a new day . Love you all thanks for the kind words

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Another surgery, Merl? Awww, I’m so sorry! :cry: Which kind of surgery are you having? Will it alleviate some of your symptoms, hopefully?! I’m glad it’s not that cold where you are! Need precip to avoid wildfires.
Our country’s weather is a mess! Whadda a Summer!
That was nice of you to send Chill a b’day card. She’s pretty ill and wrapped up with Hillbilly.
My sister was going to sacrifice and take me to Mass to finally meet her, my alleged surrogate daughter. She told me she was so excited to meet us, but…
She cancelled twice even though we worked around her. It went from 3 days to 1 day. My sis lost $113 on the motel. No big deal. Money can be replaced, friendship can’t. It’s ok. She chose her priorities.
Am not putting her down but facts are facts. Rhetorically, how come she wasn’t too sick to have him there for 3-4 months?! Ya know? My sis and I know.
We haven’t spoken since July 3rd. She hurt me again, and for the last time. She’s not a good option for me any longer. Life goes on, does it not? She may just miss me one day. I’ve forgiven her but no reconciliation. No, can do…
Merl, rhetorically asked, why do women abandon and betray friends when they become involved with a man? I’ve never done that. I included family and friends.
Good, loyal, caring friends are hard to come by, especially, in this day and age. Thank you for reading…
So, how’s Merl doing? The wife? How seriously ill are you? I feel so bad for you. You’re so sick, but you care about so many!!! You’re in my prayers!!! :heart::pray:t2::pray:t2::pray:t2::pray:t2::pray:t2::snowman: God Bless You & I, sincerely, hope you’ll receive a medical miracle. You’re due for one.
Herewith my email address if need be…
Feel free to contact me if you feel the need, pls…

Hey Kat,
Good to hear from you again.
“Our country’s weather is a mess! Whadda a Summer!” Yea same here and they say there’s no such thing as global climate change??? YEA RIGHT

Yes another op. I have a vp shunt in my skull. The initial one fractured (broke), so they replaced it. But they left all of the broken bits floating around inside me. The tubing within the brain is not the issue (yet), it’s the broken piece inside my stomach cavity that’s the issue. Part of the problem they have is that there’s 2 tubes in the cavity, the broken bit and a working shunt. The plan was to go keyhole surgery grab it and remove it, but there’s an issue if they grab the wrong tube and damage the working shunt as then that’ll all need to be replaced. The pain… …well it’s pain. Nowhere near as intense as the head pain but if the tubing migrates and pierces an organ then we’re in a bit of ‘shit’ (no pin intended) So it’s all fun, fun, fun.

The wife’s fine. She’s been reunited with her daughter after 50yrs apart via a UK TV show and it’s been one of the best things ever for all involved. We now have 2 grandkids we didn’t know about and their father lives in Turkey, so the wife’s making big plans to go over there. So that’s something to look forward too.

As for Chill, well, as I say, things change and that’s what happens. We all have other things in our lives and we move on I suppose. Relationships can be funny things, some can be dominating, some isolating but then we all make our own choices and if she feels comfortable with where’s she’s at that’s her choice.

Hope all’s going well on your side of the globe

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I haven’t been on here for a while either. I sent you a pm.
I go thru times when I think I am getting worse too, I have noticed that when I am stressed out or tired or have basically anything out of the ordinary going on, my mind just gets worse. I think me worrying about my memory also makes it worse and it certainly makes me more aware of my shortcomings. Which are too many to count lately.
I hope your brain scans came back ok.
Its hard to navigate my days too, I like the way your said that. I start on one thing and get sidetracked. The last few months seem to have been worse than normal for me, not sure what is going on.
And I am starting to have anger issues too, except I think I am just sick of being run over by people who should know better, so I’ve started screaming and crying at a few people. Not sure if it has helped, they seem to be doing better- I probably scared them.
Oh, and my neurologist that prescribed those headache shots that helped so much(I think I told you about that) has moved off and now I get to start fresh with a new one, if I can remember to call my pcp and get a referral.
I hope you are doing ok and the fishing is still good.

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Keep fighting the fight Aly , life is just hard some days , regular people have them days to lol got to lighten up and give yourself some love girl . Just the fact your daughter is moving would be hard to adjust to .i told my daughter that I’m done being a door mat broke my heart but when I’m done with them I’m done with them . Ungraitful smart mouthed cussed me and everything I told her I’ll sit in prison but I’m beating your ass no respect from these kids and for no reason i don’t get it not one bit do I understand her . I’ll never hit her but lord knows I want to .

You are right, life is hard for everybody.
Yikes. Well, the kids, no matter the age need to respect us that is for sure. I think you did the right thing with your daughter, that had to have been a tough pill to swallow. I can’t imagine mine cussing me out. Her behavior couldn’t have been good for your health.
Mine is just very independent, moved out a long time ago to a different city, for a job, but was still in the same state and we could see each other at least a couple of times a month. This just sucks.
I’d like to hit a few people, but I guess I’ll try to hold it in :slight_smile:
Are you doing ok, health wise? Were your brain scans ok?

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I’m doing ok they won’t do brain scans till October so idk how that’s going they put me on some new meds so far so good but they make me kinda tiered so I don’t like it much .these kids drive me nut lol hurts my heart they are like this but it’s there lesson so gotta let them go sometimes as hard as it is . Hope your having a great day .

Oh, I sure hope the scans come out ok. I understand what you mean about meds making your tired. I never liked that side effect either.
Hope you are having a great day as well.

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