How do you think of it

Do you think of yourself as having a TBI, as injured, as disabled… Or just as normalish I guess?

Lately I’ve been trying to tell myself more I am disabled now due to my injury. I hate viewing it that way but it’s true.

It’s better to say hey cut yourself some slack than say you should do everything like before. Or that your a loser for not being able to. I’ve been sort of telling myself that I’ve noticed. More a feeling than an actual thought.

Not sure if it’s helping yet or not but yeah.
How do you all think of your condition?

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Hey! So completely had the same feelings of not wanting to admit that there was something wrong at first. I went back to school wayyyy too soon (3 months after a severe diffuse axonal TBI, which should have waited a year). I tried so hard to consider myself as normal, but it actually made me feel so much worse about myself because if I called myself normal then I was comparing Post-TBI me to Pre-TBI me. There was so much that I had to start doing completely differently than how I did it before the TBI. When I tried to spend time convincing myself that everything was normal, I didn’t try to learn how to do things a new way, I just wanted to do everything normally. I don’t consider myself disabled, just different :). You learn how to cope and how to work with your new brain

How about thinking of yourself as ‘differently-abled’ instead of disabled?

Now ive been in this mess for just shy of ten years…I am disabled, not allowed to drive…It was tuff for many years…Each day a little easier…

I think it was far harder to leave construction and the camaraderie that came with the job!

No not normal at all…I moved to a place were people are less judgmental and a bit freakish which I feel helps me blend in well in a crowd…

I am happy to be alive even with all my goofy problems…Year after year acceptance gets easier and easier…and the problems arnt such a mind game for me…

I had the owner of a building complain were I was parking my segway when I went to my shrinks office few years ago…She didnt like that when I turned I left black marks…Just little powdery marks wind or a broom remove…
That woman was so mean…I stood up for myself!.. I told her I was disabled and not allowed to drive and I had had enough of her and her attitude!

She backed off, at the same time my shrink heard what was going on…I cant say I am proud of being disabled…But if someone dares trying to make my life harder because Im disabled…I will fight with all my might…Life is hard enough!!! Dont mess with what little freedom I have left!

A good question Caitlin, “How do you all think of your condition?” For me I live in a fog of dissociation and I react by denying my reality. There are times I am pushed over the edge and like davOD is communicating I will fight back. My nature is to fight, especially if these holes in my brain makes my mental connections go haywire. I especially fight when I am violated and overwhelmed by others. The madman will attack. I can become obsessed defending myself from potential threats from the environment and my difficulty is whatever bad I see — I will also exclude the good.

Because I am self-aware enough to know I am missing out on many important aspects of life, particularly relationships, I have lived in a constant emotional storminess. My brain is deficient and the problem is I have identified with the woundness. Then I am caught in emotional reactions and beliefs about my deficiency, and then I construct an identity out of it. I will feel like an outsider, who never belong anywhere and again the result is my constant emotional storminess and reactivity. This leads to the feeling something is missing inside, but this perpetuates the sense of inner lack without dealing with the root problem.

If I do not react or feel anything my denial of life can be astounding. I deny my TBI ever happened or I think I can work it out mentally. I will think this really did not happen, dissociation, and I will feel life is a bad dream, make believe, so life will not really happen to me. Denying and reacting serves me from facing my trauma, but is also flight from self-awareness. So in response to my denial, reaction and my brain living in a fog I am trying to learn to just be aware.

Awareness appears to not cling to anything. This awareness appears to not get caught in my inner impoverishment and shrinking back from contact, and by clutching at the little I think I have or afraid of losing. This awareness appears to take in serenity and more than I am comfortable with. Serenity appears like I need to become open to others and to accept life exactly as it is. Awareness, within serenity, feels like I accept the conditions I am working with. There appears to be flow here and there is no feeling of effort or striving. Calm and balanced, however, this also feels like a stranger walking down the street and again the madman is about to attack.

My thoughts cannot understand this and putting myself on this awareness line and trusting it seems strange that nothing can be added or subtracted from it. I just can say I can no longer cling to my ideas, open my mind and learn to observe with awareness. Serenity and awareness maybe can release this activity of judging and dividing myself into judging and judged parts. Naturally, something totally new is hard for me to explain and is more to my lack of trust. My mental complexities I am truly aware of them and I am trying to move just into awareness and serenity within it. I say this because I am tired of this horror, like a beast pounding on the door of my unconscious, and maybe awareness can take the door off the hinges. Yet I do not have good realistic trust in taking the door off, and maybe this simple awareness is enough.

Thanks to all of you and thanks for allowing me to have your trust.

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It seems like during recovery I had only one question for the last three years: “Am I still me?”. Well I got my answer and surprise surprise another question appeared: “Am I disabled?”.

For the last month I’ve kept as far away from that question as possible but it keeps popping up. Then on the same night that you posted this I had been searching the Internet for an answer to this question. Guess what the answer was? Doh!

The battle isn’t against something, that is a losing battle for me. The battle is for something! I want to have fun. I want to feel better. That is exciting and cool to me. Somehow now I am wondering if I gotta take my deficit into consideration when I try to answer that question. This is where I get excited about life again:

It isn’t about the deficit, it is about stuff that I want. Happy fun stuff. Yea life has stinky stuff too but I know all about that, we all do. Maybe it is OK to start living again, too.

Its totally ok to start living!!!
may I suggest to everyone here, start living!

Lets hope most know there boundreys and wont make things worse.

We can spend hours, days, weeks, months, or years worrying or feeling why me…but its US, that can make the difference, its us who choose is the glass empty or full!

Please I beg every one of you…Start Living, Enjoy life, to the best of our ability’s!


I have a trait. I minimise things, some may call it burying my head in the sand, some may say an ignorance to reality or an arrogance of self. “yea, I’m fine…” or “yea I’m getting there”, nothing is insurmountable.
ooppss yea there is and I’m stuck here. OHH SHIT, there goes a reality I do not like. I know I have limitations, I know I have pain among other symptoms but I also know people would get HIGHLY annoyed with me if every time they asked I told them the honest truth. Jeez, I get HIGHLY annoyed with it all and I’m the one living with it.
If I actually sit down and look at it, there’s another OHH SHIT moment, so maybe the “I’m fine…” line is me kidding myself. Sort of like, if I can convince you I might just be able to convince myself. Silly I know. Then I push too hard, the body pushes back and I kick myself stupid for the next week in agony. IDIOT. It’s not that I don’t know my limits, it’s just at times I don’t accept my limits. I HATE the idea that I can’t or that I have a disability. I don’t want to accept THAT (OK, so its more I don’t want to admit THAT), but as time goes by the reality that my ‘limitations’(disability) may be a bit more ‘long term’(permanent) is taking hold.
For me I think that admittance of this reality takes part of my identity away and the acknowledgment of that (for me) is HEAVY. Every time I try to ‘start living!’ my body shows me those limitations again. Grrrrrrrr

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I hate it, too. My TBI was on top of another neuro disorder so I feel doubly screwed. Some people like to embrace life and try to ignore, others want to be left alone. Social interaction is awful and I just want to be left alone.

I used to apologize for being so negative and all. Then I noticed that people really don’t give a crap. Only family. So I stay by family and do not connect with any other human beings and hope I never do.

I liked this chapter of a book:

I finally caved and put it in my calendar to remind me to take my pills. I thought that I could remember. After three years I caved and now they are in there. Now I can use my energy on living instead of using all my energy to remember pills lol.

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When it comes to income I am disabled; but other than that I ‘have a #@&@# head injury’