The law of the jungle and the doctrine of survival of the fittest always gave me the rationale for using force to suit my ends. Now this law unto myself no longer suits my ends. Because might no longer makes right, this feels like admitting failure and humiliation. This also can bring out aggression within me, as it makes me want to relentlessly exercise my power and yet also in this time of life I am forced to submit to my limitations. Accepting my limitations is powerlessness and my power was this ability to get things done.
What is the key that provides an understanding of this raw material of both powerlessness and power together? What allows these two opposites to live beside each other, no matter how unseemly or unflattering these are? What is this wholeness in powerlessness and power? Can peace, as acceptance, be within powerlessness and power? Where is there a flow in this experience?
My questions naturally suggest a sharp sense of powerlessness and power together and these incongruities are within myself.