I can completely relate to ‘existing for nothing’. Previously I had a life, I had a role… …now what. No role and very little life. Well, very little life that I recognise. I won’t tell you I have fully accepted my situation, not at all. I still have times when I try to do more than I know I should, but the results from doing so push me a bit further into that acceptance. Like you my contact with the outside world has become minimal and all of my family are OS, I’ll only ever return there for a funeral.
I disagree with “Seems like a bad case of decision making”, I think making such a move reinforces your predicament and the unfortunate reality of where many of us are at. I know for me, I don’t want to accept that “I can’t do as before” for me that seems defeatist, reality or not. So I rebel against it. I know it’s useless rebelling but I don’t want to admit defeat either, so I’m stuck somewhere between my belief and my reality. And that is confronting in itself.
There is no right or wrong decisions here. We have to make the choice for ourselves, then deal with what comes of those decisions. For me, I find the adjustments necessary can be a bit overwhelming, but this is now the reality of my predicament. I have no choice and I can rebel as much as I like, it isn’t going to change the reality of the situation. That reality is what I now have to deal with.
I had to put my hand up and say “Hey, I need help” I spoke to my dr who referred me on to a counsellor. Someone who I could bounce ideas off of. I had all of this information bouncing around in my head, trying to make sense of it by self was impossible and having someone disconnected from it to discuss it with certainly helped. Just to get it out of ‘me’. This allowed me to come to terms with my situation without it being self destructive and turning my mind to mush. It wasn’t easy, but it was easier than trying to do it all by myself.
Dear Danielle, you must learn to love your precious self! You are a wise being,!
Then take time to ask your self, "why am I unhappy?"
And spend time in the worthy fulfillment of figuring out what you need to be happy!
Spend money on fun experiences!
Go to a cafe and chat with people!
Join an elderly or disabled yoga class or similar (we’re allowed in either kind)
Call health and human services, find your local number by typing “Health And Human Services (and your state)” into Google
They are safe, and tell them you need help talking with someone about finding how to be happy.
Most of all, call your local clinic and sign up to see a counselor. You qualify for Health insurance, if you haven’t signed up, Health And Human Services will help you.
Join activities at your local community center to socialize too
You’ll push yourself , Sometimes too hard and will need a lot of rest, like a week’s worth, if you’re like me, and sometimes you’ll feel just ecstatic that your plan worked out!
And then, you’ll over the years, find a healthy balance of how to save energy for certain things, and how to feel yourself carefully so you don’t push yourself too far.
(If you’re like me, hehe)!
yes, having a professional to talk to is very very very helpful :-)I first saw counselors for many years, and I ended with a cognitive-behavioral therapist who was also an art therapist and I only need sessions rarely now no longer every week like I used to you can always call in an emergency and they can usually help you out right away
I’m even friends with my old counselor who is no longer a counselor and who owns and Art Shop Cafe, and in an emergency I call him sometimes and he will check on me if I ask