Hey everyone.
My family is finally done moving for now.
Once my little siblings get into the school year, I can finally start maybe trying to get better care, I hope.
It’s…Hard to know where to start.
I’ve been thinking good places to start would be a therapist, and a psychiatrist?
(I have depression and probably anxiety but not like that’s abnormal for having a tbi)
Is this a good place to start?
(Adding obviously, I’m done with the whole seeing doctors for my actual injury because I’m years past that point)
It’s not things are anywhere near as bad as they have been before. It’s just they could be better and I’m sick of feeling like I’m doing nothing. I hate doing nothing.
In hopefully September I’ll be wrapping up my lawsuit case thing (which will be a huge weight off my shoulders) and I’m hoping if I get enough I can get a tiny house to put in the yard (I can’t live independently and I’m not driving but it would help a ton to have my own space). And if all goes well id like to try to take a college class (not to pass or anything just to do and be around people my age and such. Something like cooking of photography. Not like to get a degree or anything).
But all that feels really…lofty of a goal. It feels daunting especially because idk how settlement will go.
Just the doctor part feels… Scary. New. Like a huge unbelivable task.
IDK if any of this will work.
But is this where you try to start?
Are there other doctors I should try to see or something?
Something else I should do?
I mean idk what I’m doing. There isn’t a guide for this. My doctor’s I saw when I first had my head injury just shrugged, said sorry nothing we can do overall. I think one or two suggested therapy maybe.
Hey Caitlin,
GOOD ON YOU!!! Making plans, setting goals, that’s fantastic IMHO. But I’d recommend you start small, then progress from there, well, that’s what I did.
There are some brilliant, short, online courses you can do. The good thing with them is that you can do them at your pace. I have completed a couple in photography, which is an interest of mine. I signed up to an online academy as a life member and I get online vouchers. If you are interested, let me know.
Prior to my most recent injury I used to teach people with BI’s how to cook/clean/look after themselves in their own homes, so I know how daunting the whole prospect can seem. But it can also be very rewarding. Although I no longer work I am more than willing to assist you in any way possible. I still have many resources that I can share and pointers that may assist, all you need to do is ask. I’d have to ask you some questions regarding home safety etc, just so that the information that I could provide was safe for you, for example, safe use of appliances etc. But as I say, If you want, then you ask, and I’ll assist.
You say “Like a huge unbelivable task.” Heck, when I started this process I couldn’t even boil toast (joke) But with a bit of confidence you can do it.
Thank you!!! That mean so much.
Ah- that’s like a long term fantasy more than anything hah hah hah. I mean, I’d have to build up to it. Therapy being a starting point. Not planning to get to that other stuff anyyyyyytime soon.
Online classes are a good suggestion…I mean I’ll think about it. But that’s not exactly what I think I’m going for? Like I’d want to try to do it to get out, and be social, and not be at home, try to make friends, whatever. I guess? Like not actually taking a class to get a grade (not that I wouldn’t try but I’m not expecting that at all, that’s not what I’m doing it for). I feel like online classes wouldn’t give me that. I already chat with people online here and with my ldr friend. I’d kinda want a IRL thing. Like it’s more a social thing not a school thing (lol school I’m not there at all psh not even close). But thank you! I hope that makes sense.
Whoa that’s a lot of experience with a lot of stuff! Merl why do always have all these cool things you’ve done your so inspiring over there. I’d ask I just wouldn’t know what to ask? But thank you! My main thing is driving again but…uhg I didn’t even list it. That’s a little too unrealistic. I can’t multitask at all. Any questions are fine no biggie
It’s baby steps I mean just thinking about all that and not just shutting it down as soon as I thought it is good…? I think it’s good.
I’m okayish with cleaning and cooking I guess. Idk (I burn myself a lot by accident. So I kinda don’t cook to much. Nick my hand ect. because I’m clumsy.) I can use a washing machine, ect. Vacuuming is annoying because it’s noisy but I tolerate it better than I used to… There’s probably really important stuff I’m forgetting though. Definitely.
I’ll definitely shoot you a message though. Thank you so much for your help. You’re so nice I don’t deserve it wah
I love you plan and hope it works out!..I hope your lawsuits work out as well…Mine took years and so many promises and then nothing…I bought some land and hope to put a home on it…but something seams to always mess it up?..Best to you and hope it all goes smooth!
Yeah mines taken years and years already.
The main reason they want to wrap this up is because I used to live in Maryland but they dragged it on so long now I live in Texas.
I’m honestly not expecting to get anything but that would be best best case scenario
I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you. That really is the worst. Hug.
Maybe you could rent the land out or something? Is that a thing?
Lol my lawyer has done the opposite of promise anything.
Your plan sounds pretty good. You sound flexible and open to how it goes. So, try it out.
I work with a psychotherapist, life coach and physical trainer (not therapist). I wish that I had done that all… earlier in my recovery. It wasn’t a realistic expectation on me or my caregivers to help with these three things. Think about it, everybody can benefit from these TBI or not.
Have you considered auditing a class? Zero pressure and more fun. Still socialize. Make some plans for when things get overwhelming. For example you get stressed out in class then before class find a “safe place” to go chill out when you are not chilled out. Have a ride home lined up: Uber maybe? It is OK to look at your experience and know what tends to go wrong, and just plan for it. It isn’t being negative, rather it is knowing your operational requirements and leveraging them so you can have some fun.
Your desire to do these things is so important. Pat yourself on the back. That desire is what makes you, you, not your injury. So, keep at it. We are all in this together.
Yeah. I wish I was in a place to do these things earlier. IDK if I would’ve been able to but it might have been easier to start these things earlier. This are good ideas I’ll look into them.
Auditing…class? I don’t know what that is but I’ll look it up.
Yeah I’m thinking Lyft or Uber hopefully will be available.
Thank you. That means a lot. It’s hard to want anything you know? Try to be something beyond your injury when it affects so much of who you are.
Ohhhhhhhhhh okay I looked it up yes auditing a class was exactly what I wanted and was thinking of doing I just didn’t know there was a term for it. Sweet
Sometimes I think that, who I think I am, is overrated. When I close my eyes, I think, gosh this person is decent and you like them. Then I open them and I get mad about fill in the blank about this person who is me and their situation.
It sounds like you are filling in the blank with stuff that would make you happy and that is the best thing to do. So do things that make you happy, and it might go well and it may end horribly, and when close you eyes, you are still that person that you think is pretty decent and that you like.
I’ve done fill in the blank with things I don’t like for a long time. I still have days I do. It happens.
It might go well, it might go horribly, it might not happen at all. Eh. Might as well try not like I have anything else going on in my life.
Good Luck Caitlin. I think you should try it. If you hate it, you don’t have to go back. You may really enjoy it though and maybe meet a new friend or two in the process.
I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you. That really is the worst. Hug.