How to keep quite? or at least only speak, when spoken to?

Any ideas?

Is this for angry responses? Try the old "count to 10" method, Rick. It that isn't long enough, make it 20 or 30. If you can wait a whole day before responding, sometimes that works, too.

If it is just about talking period, ask yourself: Is it worth my time to speak up? Is it necessary? and, most importantly, is it helpful?

No, anger is not an issue what so ever, its just trying to not be a blabber mouth:)

I would suggest that you learn how to ask good questions: who, what, where, when, why, and how. I took a counseling skills class that taught how to ask good questions, but you can probably find some books about it, too. When you're talking to people, instead of focusing on what you want to say next, keep focusing on what they're saying, and look for more questions you can ask them. For example, if they mention going out of town last week, ask where they went. Find out who when with them or who they went to see, why they went there (business or vacation) etc... Be a detective in every conversation! The best way to avoid talking incessantly in a conversation is by getting the other person to talk as much as possible. Asking questions will also help the other person feel like you care, so they will be more interested in hearing your story, later on.

This is hard to do. As TBIers we tend to want to talk about our own experiences every chance we get, because a TBI is a very lonely and misunderstood injury; but it's good to keep in mind that everyone is going through SOMETHING, so they have stories to tell too.

Do you find that you repeat yourself a lot? I do that, especially when I'm teaching our Sunday School class. I'll try to make a point, but I feel like I haven't really expressed it properly, so I"ll find a different way to say the same basic thing. Sometimes I'll catch myself saying the same basic thing, two or three different ways, more or less repeating myself, because I can't seem to find just the right words to convey my meaning... LOL, like I just did. Those last two sentences said more or less the same thing =P

If there's a cure for that, I have no idea what it is. Hang in there!

I have this problem as well, no matter what I try to help nothing seems to work. Unless I just dont talk to begin with. I wish thinking about what to say came automatically but it doesn’t. I read that a head injury can throw things off of balance.

Also email communication is better for me then i can reflect take my time then respond. After proff reading then correct job done. Proof read one more time that it sounds right. Then send it.

When I verbally communicate all this is skipped words just keep coming out. Some times i dint mean to offend but it just sounded like. I meant it differently then have to explain before any get hurt.

Im thinking who I need to see to help me with this or any techniques please. I will try any thing. Please help.

I take some breathes to calm down. I feel the sensation of the warm air on the tip of my nose when I inhale and the cool air when I exhale. When I finally feel better or that I am in control I answer.

That is the ideal. Obviously I do better and worse at various times lol.

Danielle, If you find answers to this let me know, when I got hurt 25 yrs ago I overcame a lot of things but talking out of turn, rambling, saying inapropriate things to strangers is the main thing I never overcame. The only thing like you said is not talking at all. but I am an excitable person, I feel better about myself when I’m just listening but once I start talking I ruin the conversation. My wife is a great listener but I think after 25yrs even she is getting sick of it, she says trying to keep up with my conversation is like being on roller skates with a rope connected to a truck going all over the place. Anyway like the Beatles say “what a long strange trip this is” Good Luck!

You guys Rock :slight_smile: Yes, I babble a lot, but then again, say what you want to
say, of what others may feel, but always stay tender to others feelings
that may be present at the time! Thats whats hard but then again, gota love
me for whom I am? Firsd and last love in life is, Self Love, gota like you
for you, regardless of what dys ABILITY may be present!?
rickyd227 A: gmail:)

Others without a head injury will never understand I have accepted. Unless they study about like professionals do.

I can tend to talk a lot but am trying to calm it down. I don’t have an answer Johnas such maybe ask your wife to sit down so you can explain.

This is why I prefer text message or email. It gives me a chance to compose correctly.

I don’t socialise with people at the moment so that problem isn’t there and whenIdo Occasionally I keep quiet.

Fighting against your true self it doesn’t work tried and tested, because we are ourselves if that makes sense?’