Equestrians Out there

Hi all I was hurt riding horses. Now I have been thrown, kicked, stepped on. I love horses and still have several. I still ride, compete and live a mostly normal life. Where I get hung up is at work. I struggle with multi-tasking, focusing and completing projects. I have great days and really really lousy days. I was not the same after the injury. Susie, my mare, started bronching when I was cooling her off after a ride in an indoor arena. I ride english. Dressage to be precise. I think she started bucking because I leaned forward to move her mane from under her bridle. I was wearing spurs. Now I am a good rider. Good enough to have stayed on the horse while she pitched and rolled back and forth. Think bull riding. According to a witness I passed out while still on her back. I regained consciousness on the ground with no memory at the time of how I got there.

I thought "crap" normal concussion. Nope. After a hospital visit, a scan and an okay to go home everything changed. Besides the debilitating headaches that lasted 6 months or more. I could not do the simplest tasks. I ended up on partial disability from my graphic design job with a prominent national retailer. I could not drive because I just could not remember how to do it. I did find some help - sort of.... A neurologist said I had scrambled all the files in my filing cabinet and to make lists - lots of lists. Work was good in small doses because it was like working out for my brain. My focus was nonexistent and I was exhausted all the time. Of course the one place I felt normal and safe was the barn! I eventually felt comfortable driving but I literally had to think about each task before I executed it.

Since this fall almost 10 years ago I cope. I know I will never be as "brilliant" as I was then. But I have gained other skills - patience, acceptance and appreciation of simple pleasures. I have had other falls from horses. None as bad as that one. I do worry about the long term effects but then I can't live in a bubble nor do I want to.

I recently started a new job high pressure, public and demanding it has underscored the challenges I face. What is really easy for some people I struggle with. Like the prioritizing, focusing, figuring out the steps necessary to complete a task. It is not that I don't know how I just have to really pay attention to all of it.