Relationships after my TBI changed, at the time my awareness was not that sharp. I found myself being told what I liked, what I did, etc. by family. With friends I found myself trying to be who I had been…not who I was, this apparently worked for them. I had what I thought was a love relationship…but it wasn’t, it was born out of loneliness and intimate needs. Probably one of the most mind boggling thing of TBI is “becoming” who you are post TBI. It is not an easy road, but once you wrap your head around the fact you have changed and thus your relationships have changed…it can be exciting…New interests, new friends etc.
My sons friends changed...for the good thank goodness! His previous 'bestie' couldn't even visit him at the hospital or at home. ..and when he finally visited and took my son out to "fish" he brought him home so drunk that my son almost fell down the stairs coming into the house as his 'friend' was already down the driveway...just dumped him off! He now has re-established with friends who truly care about him and "have his back" wherever they go!
I lost a marriage over one of my TBI's...too much required to take care of me since I couldn't move from one spot to the other without assistance. My brother and his wife took care of me for the next 6 months as I was completely helpless.
The family dynamics at work now make it tough to escape/hide what he's going through and now he is able to relate to other members in the house with ailments he didn't much give a nod to pre-TBI. It has made him more compassionate by times. He wishes he wasn't so dependant on us but we don't mind a bit. He thinks he's a burden, I think I'm a burden, the family wouldn't have it any other way. We've all got lots of experience!
Good blog my new friend! Obviously, I could relate!
Be well! Always Laurel aka gotTHATcall
Change is an understatement for sure! My husband and I were living together but not yet married at the time of his accident. The dynamics of relationship changed immediately. But together we got through the early stages of recovery. We were married 2+ years after his accident. We struggle. Sometimes a lot more than others, but I know that we love each other very much. Therapy helps but also listening to each other and being open is what continues to be a saving grace (even though we forget to do that sometimes - coming back to that really does help). And as hard as it is for him to mourn the loss of his former self and accept this new person...it's also hard for me. I have to remember to love and accept the new person (6 years since his accident) every day. I think your perspective on treating this "new" relationship as something exciting is fantastic. We have an opportunity to reinvigorate our relationship, find new things to enjoy together regularly. Hopefully we can all achieve this and not lose sight of what's important to all of us. thanks!
Jgw76 and GotThatCall…Thank you both for your comments. Sharing your experiences of relationships and your unique perspectives speaks volumes for those searching for answers and those simply finding comfort in the fact that they are not alone in thier challenges.